Thinking about how you would manage with your adult life? I mean, really manage. (Financially, emotionally, etc.)
I don’t know, these thoughts have been recurrent these past few months and I’m finding myself a tad scared of what the future holds. What if I don’t make enough money to support my lifestyle? Or worse, what if I can’t even find a decent job?
I often imagine myself living in a modern flat that’s perfectly placed and there’s no traffic at all whenever I decide to go out. It’s going to be low-maintenance but pretty. And I won’t keep crap that I know will just be a hideous waste of space. I want it to be peaceful and I want it be mine. A haven tailor-made for me.
Then I think of kids. This is more of a constant thought. Probably ever since I was really really young. I would always just stop and think, how would my kids become strong and smart and ready for the world? It scares me that I won’t be able to raise them as well as I would want to. I want them to have a mature view of the world. And I want them to be wiser beyond their years.
It’s terrifying to think that the future might not turn out the way you want it. Or if you have a future, at all. It’s always going to be an issue that’ll bug me forever; like this dark entity knocking away in the depths of my mind.
The point is, I want to be successful, and I’m not really sure how, and I’m terrified that I won’t be. I want to be optimistic but I have face the fact that reality won’t always go my way, would it?
I want to take it one day at a time. And I will see what the future holds as it slowly unfolds itself right before my very eyes.
I hope it’s going to be a bright one. I honestly do.